It's Coming...

...2009. Unbelievable.

I've never been really into the whole New Year's Resolution thing. It always feels a little like a trend to me, and I wonder how effective resolutions can be if they are motivated simply by the change to a new calendar date. That said, I may be turning a corner with resolutions. I have been challenged to think of a 'To-Do' list for 2009. Some items on the list may be considered resolutions. Others are simply tasks or goals I want to check off my list before 12/31/2009.

I'd like to have a list of 10 items, but I don't have 10 yet. So, here are the 5 things I have on my list so far:

1. Run 10k.
The goal is not necessarily to run a 10k RACE, but simply to be able to run that distance. I like running for the solitude it provides, and for taking in the beauty of nature (I like running outside best), and for the satisfaction of being more fit. I don't find the idea of running alongside hundreds of other people to be a very solitary or peaceful thing, and certainly all those people would obstruct my view of nature.
Also, this goal happens to be a personal goal as well as a part of a deal I have made with a friend: if I run 10k he will read a favorite book of mine. Hopefully I can blog more on that deal later, after I check this one of my list!

2. Complete my new blog project
I'll blog more on this in a few days, but I have come up with a fun project for the coming year, inspired partly by my friend Allison and partly by my own inner nerd. I'm excited and I hope that I can keep up with it.

3. Ditch the Auto
No, not my car. I'm talking about the Auto setting on my new DSLR camera. I bought it about a month ago and so far have not had time to learn to play with it. I have used it a lot but I've stayed on Auto far more than I want to. I blame it on December and being too busy to take the time to play, but that will soon change...

4. Visit New York City
I've never been there and I am feeling the itch to travel somewhere new again, so this is my next destination. Plus, I'll get to see two great friends of mine while I am there!

5. Get back to my budget
If you know much about me, you know I have a thing for budgets. Well, ok, for money management, period. I'm pretty cheap, and I'm a total debt-phobe. But in the last few months I have had some large purchases I decided to make- furniture, my camera, etc. I didn't incur debt, but I just didn't save as much as I used to or as much as I wanted to. Or much at all, let's just be honest. While I am certainly not in danger financially (for which I am extremely grateful), I haven't made a budget in a few months, and I used to do it every month like clockwork. So I'm going to get back to my roots.

So, there's my 5 so far. I'll add more if I can think of some, but it's a good start for me so far.

What's on your 2009 To-Do list?

Quotable roommates

On a lazy Saturday morning, after Elisa gets back from morning errands:

Me (after seeing myself in the mirror): "Wow, I look like a trainwreck!"

Elisa: "Well, I look like butt cracks." (**Note: It is unclear why she used the plural form here.)

Me: "Well, at least you look like you've been in public and seen the light of day."

Elisa: "Yeah, but I scared people."

Editing can be Criminal

Earlier this year, a group was formed. They called themselves the Typo Eradication Advancement League (or TEAL, since every organization needs an acronym). Mr. Jeff Deck was the founder, and he and a few fellow grammar crusaders decided to go around the country this past spring repairing publicly-displayed grammatical errors wherever they could. They had a blog tracking their progress, which, sadly, I didn't get to read. Why? Because the great journey came to an abrupt and legally-embroiled end. Jeff and a friend were arrested for vandalism and defacement of Government property after one of their red-pen pit stops. They apparently corrected a sign in the Grand Canyon National Park- a sign that is classified as a National Historic Landmark. Now they've got thousands to pay in fines and they've been banned from national parks for a year. And their blog? If you visit today, all you will find is a (semi-) convincing soliloquy on the criminal implications of vandalizing signs in National Parks.

Maybe part of their punishment was to remove all evidence of their editing exploits.

If you know me at all, you know how much I love the English language, and therefore, how much I love to hate the horrific abuse of it that daily takes place. I can say there have been times I've actually grimaced at an error in a public place, but I don't think I would ever have the nerve to correct it myself. I think the very reason I am so affected (appalled? irrationally irritated?) by grammatical errors is the same thing that would keep me from vandalizing a sign in the name of correction: I am a rule-follower. I don't walk across lawns when sidewalks are right there. I don't use handicap-accessible doors because they were not made for me. And under no circumstances do I ever read the last page of a book first. Rules are a comfort to my first-born personality.

That said, there's a vigilante inside me who cheered at TEAL's attempts to defend our English language.

Lessons from Camping

So, I went camping with some friends this past weekend. It was a good time. Great weather, great people, and beautiful scenery. And what's more, we all learned some very important life lessons during our time together. I'd like to take a moment to impart some of that valuable knowledge.

- Beware the ricochet when using a hatchet (Please ask Mr. Cole if you want details).

- Always carry an Army-issue tourniquet (this lesson comes in handy if you neglect to follow lesson # 1).

- Water- resistant is no match for water-proof (especially true of tents and sleeping bags).

- Rocks are not good bedfellows.

- Don't make fun of the over-prepared camper (he's probably the one who has the tourniquet when you need it most).

- Last but not least:
Rule #1: Never talk about Mickey bombs.

Rethinking Baggage

I was talking with some friends the other night, and one of them said, “Everyone’s got baggage.” The comment made me step back and think. Generally, when we say someone has baggage, it is a negative thing. It speaks of problems or emotional issues that have marred in some way the ‘wholeness’ of a person. At the very least, it implies some additional, weighty issues that come along with a person wherever he or she goes. But if we all have baggage, why is the term always negative? Can a person have positive baggage? And what does our baggage truly say about us?

Webster defines baggage as:
1: suitcases, trunks, and personal belongings of travelers: luggage

While I know that some people are chronic over-packers, I think there is a global understanding that baggage is meant for the things we need on a trip. Those needs may change depending on our destination, but we pack our bags based on what we know of ourselves, what we have planned to do while away, and what we can reasonably expect might occur. We bring with us items that we already own- things we have used in our lives at home, but which will continue to be useful even in a new environment. If we all have baggage in our lives, doesn’t it just mean that we all bring along with us the things we think we need for wherever we are going? I think we carry in our emotional duffel bag the history of the hurts and joys we've experienced and the lessons we've taken from them.

Baggage can be positive or negative. We can choose to pack light, with only the necessary items, or we can be over-packers. If we have been in a blizzard without a jacket, we may be tempted to bring a down jacket to Florida in July, but it won’t be useful and it will take up valuable space for the things we really do need. In the same way, I am convinced that the emotional baggage we have can be functional or detrimental, but we can choose which. While I don’t think it’s possible to ever truly forget the painful things we’ve experienced, I think one of the greatest things about living life is the opportunity to see mistakes become lessons and pain become strength. Ours is a God who gives us beauty for ashes and joy for mourning, and we have the privilege to make use of His heart for renewal and repair.

I am usually a light packer, but it is an acquired skill. I start by throwing everything I think I might possibly want toward the general direction of my suitcase. Then I sort through the mountain of stuff and ask myself if I really NEED a second pair of high heels for a 5-day trip to the beach (I might). After a few rounds of arguing with myself, I whittle my things down to fit in one smallish suitcase. At the end of it all, I arrive at my destination well prepared for a pleasant trip, but it always takes time and effort on my part to get there. I think the same can be said of emotional baggage. I think we have to put conscious thought into what pieces of our past we keep with us. We have to give our hurts over to the One who can make them useful. We have to allow previous pain to age and become wisdom before we pack up and head for a new destination.
Otherwise, we might arrive with a too many suitcases and no toothbrush.

Irrationality

So, I realize I have all but abandoned my blog. For the 2 people out there who might actually read it, I apologize.

So, to welcome you back to my world, I have a little story for you.

Today was my last day of work at my current job. Add to that the fact that I have been on vacation all this week until today, and you might be able to predict that it would be a busy day. Well, I'm notorious for having absolutely no concept of how long it might take me to do something, so I thought that the to-do list I made for my last day of work was actually realistic and attainable.
Not at all. We work half days on Fridays at my company, and I had planned on working later until about 2 or 3 to finish everything, but there I was at 8:15pm, still working. I went to the file room (to file things) and on my way back to my office, I look down the hall and I freeze.

There.
Is.
A.
MOUSE
outside my office door!

Now, I think mice are cute in theory, but I cannot stand to see one outside of a cage. I react the same way to spiders. All reason is lost and I am left contemplating whether or not a sudden move by me would cause the creature to jump on me, and if so, does it bite?

So I am standing there, frozen, and I don't know what to do. I mean, my first thought is to flee the scene, but I have to get my car keys to do that, and my keys are in the office, PAST the rodent-gauntlet. So I am thinking about sliding past the mouse into my office and I can't even think about it without having vivid hallucinations of it running over my feet or (gasp!) up my leg! I got goosebumps thinking about it. I tried to talk myself down by thinking about how small it is compared to me, or feeling sorry for it because it's more scared of me than I am of it (are you sure about that?), but none of that mattered. So I did what anyone would do: I started stomping my feet, and then I started yelling.

yep.

I yelled at a mouse today.
I think my exact words included, "Go away!"
...and maybe some other things.

And surprisingly enough, mice don't seem to be affected by yelling, or maybe our office mouse doesn't speak English.
He did not move a muscle. I took baby-stomping steps closer, and finally decided to slip past him as fast as possible into my office. In my mind, he was mere inches from my toes when I did this, but in reality, he was about 2-3 feet away from me. I decided that I didn't want to have to stomp anymore, so I turned on some music really loud and I made a lot of noise finishing the paperwork I was doing. I also scooted my desk chair to where I could look outside my door and see that thing to make sure it didn't come near my office. I was feeling trapped in my own office and trying to plan a grand escape maneuver when I looked at him and noticed he was doing a weird tiny mouse-shuffle movement. He was taking a step away from the door, but doing it in tiny halting movements, sort of like dancing the robot. Under a strobe light. I think he was trying to be sneaky, not realizing that, as a mouse, he doesn't have to try that hard. And also not realizing that I was watching every little jerky movement he made. It was very tedious to watch, and I yelled at him again, but this time I was telling him to just run and get it over with. He still didn't listen.
But finally, when he rounded the corner of the office shredder bin, I felt the rush of relief, for I had FREEDOM again. And then, the rush of self-disdain as I could think clearly again. I generally think of myself as a pretty composed and rational person, but do rational people yell at robot-dancing rodents?

Maybe getting an apartment by myself wasn't the best idea.
What if it has mice?

This is not what Secret Santa means

I read about this story a few days ago and was shocked, amused, and saddened all at once. A Dallas family lost their dog on Christmas Eve, and spent the next few days searching for him.
Then, on New year's Day, they got a letter from a woman explaining that she found their dog and gave it to her daughter as a Christmas present. She also included $20.00 in the envelope. Payment for the dog? Cost of pain and suffering? Money to buy a replacement?

You can read the full letter here.

All I'm saying is, if you can have a person's dog for a mere $20.00, I need to have a long overdue conversation with my neighbors. I've had my eye on their dog for a while now...

And if this is how to get Christmas presents cheaply, I've been doing it all wrong.

Gas

So, how about those gas prices?
Actually, I'm not bringing it up for a debate. Everyone would agree that rising gas prices are a pain in the wallet, and it seems everyone has theories abut why it's happening what and how to change it. All of that is a conversation for a different day.

That said, I saw this cartoon and I liked it. Enjoy!

If you can't laugh at yourself...

So, I had a coffee date with Suzanne this week. We had planned to meet on Thursday evening. Most weeks, I am yawning by 8pm on Thursdays. This particular Thursday, I had had a cavity filled only a few hours prior to our meeting. So, when I was getting ready to head out to Starbucks, I was already red-eyed with exhaustion and my mouth was numb on the right side. I was concentrating on whether or not I was drooling without realizing it. I'm not saying that these conditions are to blame for what happened next, I'm just setting the stage.

So I throw on a fleece and I go to the door where there is a long metal tray filled with shoes for when people walk in the door. I tend to be the member of the household who changes shoes most often, so I have many shoes in this tray. I slip on my shoes, and out the door I go to coffee.

I get there about 5 minutes early and find a table to sit and wait for Suzanne. I'm sitting in typical girl fashion: crossed legs, top foot swinging. I look down at my swinging left foot:



Upon seeing it, this is my thought: "Hmmm, that's funny... I thought I put on the grey (gray?) shoes when I left." I was even a little disappointed because the grey shoes matched what I was wearing better than the black shoe I was seeing. I almost moved on to think about something else, when I suddenly had an instant replay flash through my mind of my right foot stepping into a grey shoe just before leaving the house. Now my thought is this: "No........ Surely not...."
And despite the part of me that screams out not to look, that ignorance is bliss, I force myself to look down at my right foot. This is what I see:



I cannot begin to explain the horror, and perhaps if you had been there you might have seen the physical manifestation of my inner panic. I swear, at that moment, a neon blinking arrow popped up next to my table, pointing directly at my feet. I pulled the 'ol look-around-to-see-who-sees and to my relief, the world at that moment did not seem to care much about my shoe debacle. As it turns out, people go to Starbucks to meet with other people and drink coffee, not to shoegaze and journal about fashion accidents.

I briefly tucked one foot under my rear in an effort to hide my error, but then I just felt like a phony. I decided to suck it up and hope that the other patrons assumed it was crazy shoe day at my work.

And when I got home, I laughed till I cried.

Do you feel lucky?

Last weekend my sister had the coolest birthday party ever. She and all her guests got to fly in small airplanes for free! We have a group here at a small airport who is trying to get kids interested in flying, so they have monthly events where families can come and the pilots donate their time, their skill, and their gasoline to give as many kids as show up a free airplane ride in a small plane. I absolutely love these planes and I was recruited to take some photos of the event for the association's website (here). What I took has not been posted yet, but here are some of my favorite shots:

In return for taking pictures, I also got to fly. I rode in the yellow plane pictured above. It was awesome- we flew south over Shriever AFB, East out to goodness knows where, and back around to the airport.
The flight was quite interesting and fun, until about 5 minutes prior to landing. We had just reached a point farther east than I have ever seen, and we were flying over large green crop circles and sparse 'farms' with trailer park farmhouses. None of this evoked any fear until I turned my attention from the ground below and looked at the instrument panel. There, directly in front of my seat, silently screaming out to me "why haven't you noticed me???" was this sticker:
"STANDARD AIRCRAFT??!!"
What is not standard about it? Why is it in quotes? Nothing in this warning made me feel the least bit safe. So, despite the fact that I got to fly for free in a sweet-looking "airplane," the last 5 minutes of the ride were spent in vivid day-mares about my death on the eastern farming plains of Colorado.
But it turns out that even non-standard aircraft can fly successfully. And I lived to tell about it.

pumpkins can win contests

I know this because my pumpkin did just that. I attended a lovely fiesta called "BYOP" and there was a contest for the best carving. We were assigned teams randomly, and my partner was a nice guy named Kevin. I had not met him before, but it turns out strangers can carve pumpkins together without any problems.

This is our winner. We won silly putty and a 3-pack of Pop Rocks for our efforts (which turned out to only have 2 packs in it).


A shout out to Toby, who lent his creative ability to me by creating a template for my pumpkin. I did not use said template, mostly because it was largely incomplete and also quite nonsensical. But I still think the inspiration helped me know what not to do, and therefore contributed to the win.

Clothing of mountains, and other thoughts.

It's here. (begin mental recitation of "Jaws" theme)

Ok, I will admit, I don't actually know when the first day of winter is, but I have decided to say it is here. As a native Coloradan, I think I have the freedom to choose confidently how to term the time of year, because I know that my departure from fact is not due to misinformation. I am merely acting out of the freedom we Coloradans have to experience multiple seasons in and out of season! (still with me?)
And even if you want to argue the fact and maintain the integrity of fall's calendar presence, I'm okay with that, as long as you can grant me the one thrill of my winter experience:

The annual clothing of Pike's Peak!

I realize I'm a bit late on this observation, because the true day of draping was actually two Sundays ago, but it was weak. It was the natural equivalent of putting on a thin shawl. Make no mistake, I was thrilled to see it, but the real joy came yesterday, when the Peak finally got to wear a coat. I don't know why this change is so noteworthy to me, I guess it's just my personal measure of the change in season.
I feel it similarly in the summer. The day the peak disrobes always brings a smile to my face (and a little blush on the mountain's behalf, because it really is a little naked and vulnerable looking- ESPECIALLY above timberline, if ya know what I mean).
But no matter your views on indecent exposure in the high country, you have to admit that the sight this morning of snow blowing off the top of the Peak was beautiful, if you got the chance to see it. If not, keep your eyes up, it will happen quite a few times over the coming months, and the last thing a Coloradan should do (native or transplant) is become oblivious to the natural beauty of God's creation. We're blessed every day to see even the tiniest glimpse of the majesty of a Creator who could think to create something so phenomenal to my mind. It calls to mind a line from a song by Shawn McDonald:
"The same hands that created all of this/they created you and I/What a Beautiful God"
Imagine-
The privilege of being created, known, sought after, and loved by One so artistic, wild, powerful, and detailed - it's beyond logic, and it's definitely beyond words I can provide.

What's your favorite part of the season change? We asked this in a meeting the other day, and I loved to hear the answers.

Best weekend ever

It was a lovely weekend. Here are some of the reasons why:

1. I got two new books, the first of which is an incredibly well-written and creative novel. It also presents the gospel in a refreshing and weighty light. And shouldn't the gospel be weighty? It's a beautifully heavy thing. Savage and excessive. If you have the urge to read a new book and think more seriously about the love of the Lord, read this book: Demon: A Memoir by Tosca Lee. Sounds counterintuitive by the title alone, but trust me. Well, at least trust me so far. I'm not even done yet and I am endorsing it! That could be some sort of book reviewing faux pas.

2. I spent some time with a good friend having coffee and reading in a cozy little coffee shop. It's the simple things.

3. Craig Gross, pastor for XXXchurch.com, came out to our church on Sunday morning. Very compelling speaker. He has a call to ministry that I think very few would be willing to answer- walking into the world of pornography to speak the truth of Christ's love in a dark place. If you want to know more or hear more, go to their website. They also have podcasts of a radio show on itunes.

4. Sunday afernoon, I went driving in with some friends up to see the beautiful Colorado aspen trees turning. We drove up to Cripple Creek, stopping along the way to take some pictures of a season beginning to change. It was beautiful. Then we drove further up, to Victor, Colorado. Victor is a tiny little old mining town. People still live there, but there are lots of mines around the city that are old and abandoned. There are also a lot of great buildings in the town that are still standing with a lot of character and history built-in. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the afternoon:



I could post about a hundred more, but I will leave at that for now. It is enough to say that it was a perfect first weekend of Fall, and I wanted to share. (and get back to blogging after a long hiatus, oops!)
I hope your weekend went well, too.

Workaholism: the slippery slope

It has come to my attention that, given the right job, I am a workaholic. I have noticed this in a very short time, considering I have worked in this new position for a total of two months now. I have thought of battling this disease with a 12-step program, but I don't think it's that serious. I can stop anytime I want. Just one more file review, and that's it, I swear. Ok, maybe two, but after that, I will seriously quit. (for tonight.)

But really, for now, I am ok with this reality in my life. I don't have a family of my own or a marriage. I have the freedom and desire to devote more of myself to my job than is required, and I would prefer that than to struggle with apathy or distaste for my job. I know that if I didn't enjoy my job as much as I do, I would have an easier time leaving things at the office, but as it stands, I consider it grace that God has led me to a position that I find both challenging and enjoyable. It's a great fit for my personality and a great balance of the things I value about my field and the preferences I have in work style. It's not always sunshine and roses. There are many situations that are difficult and disheartening. But for each of those, there is another encouragement to be found. And every situation is an opportunity to serve and build a positive relationship with the family I am working for. Even in the most frustrating of cases, I am reminded that when it seems I can do nothing to help a family, I can pray. Which is more effective and powerful than I understand. I am learning to believe it by my actions, because I think belief is more than agreement with an idea or theory. It is an action and a choice. Belief is a repetitive, conscious effort to live in line with an idea. It is not a solitary, passive declaration of thought.

And on that note, I am retiring. it's already too late for deep thought, but I've done my best.

Word.

I ran across a great quote today.

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
-Mark Twain

I wholeheartedly agree. I think there are far too many words we use too often and too lightly. There are also many words that are completely misused altogether. It can really get to me.

Yep, I'm that girl.
It's where my analytical bent meets my inner bookworm.

Here are some of the words I think top the list:

Love (don't even get me started on this one)
Hope
Faith (as in "have faith")
Awesome (Does everything referred to as 'awesome' actually inspire awe?)
Like (self-explanatory)
Joy

I could probably come up with a lot more, but it's the end of the day and I am tired. But just as a note: it's no coincidence that most of those words can be found in the Bible. One of the biggest reasons such misuse bothers me is because of the weight such words should carry for us. They pertain to lofty and beautiful things. Why aren't we more careful with them?

Thoughts?

prodigal blogger

So...I've had this blog for almost 2 years now, and I have had nothing to show for it. I never deleted it and then, over time, I forgot about it, and it wallowed in a pool of loneliness. But recently, I have been inspired to try to take up blogging again, and I remembered this poor lonely space on the web. It held no grudge against me and it cried no bitter tears, it simply welcomed me back with a sparkling blank page and open arms.
A very lovely reaction, I thought. Which made me want to use this blog all the more.

So, for the inaugural post, I am going to introduce you to me in a nutshell. I am quiet, analytical, and a bit of a daydreamer. I am going to like the blog thing if I can keep up with it because I love to write. I live in Colorado, and I am hoping to find time to explore more of the beauty around this state after taking it for granted for quite a while. I am working on some personal goals- becoming a runner, and working my way up to hiking a fourteener. I have a LONG way to go, but you have to start somewhere, right? Other things you will find true of me if I can transfer myself to this page:
I love my family.
I am a total nerd: a grammar policewoman, an office-supply-store fanatic, and a compulsive reader.
I love my job.
I love to think deeply about theology, ethics, psychology, and anything involving logic.
I love to play outside.

It is my dream to own a horse one day.

For now, I think that's enough.
It's way past my bedtime.