The prodigal returns (again)...

Today was the last day of a very much-needed vacation. It was a very lazy day for me. I probably should have been less lazy and more productive, though, based on the lack of headway I have made in preparing for Christmas. But what is life for me without a little last-minute errand-running? I don't think I am cut out for advanced shopping and preplanning when it comes to presents. I will be the first to spill the beans on a gift I have for you if I have it for over a day or two prior to giving it. It's like the telltale heart for me. I MUST get it out of the floorboards!

So I didn't shop. I didn't really DO much of anything, truthfully. But while indulging in a lot of nothing, I actually indulged in a lot of thinking. This is medicine for me. And today had me thinking about my need for a creative outlet. I have as much as abandoned that in recent months. Although circumstances made for things to become a bit consuming at work, I know I am as much a creator of my circumstances as I am affected by them.

So...I gave up on the blog project. And the blogging in general. And approximately 20 something other activities and outlets I have had in my life to balance my work me with my personal me. I definitely failed to observe boundaries- (I'm beginning to despise the word).

But let's not dwell on that, shall we? I prefer not to concentrate on the failure. In fact, my newest favorite quotation is this:

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down. " -Mary Pickford ...and with that, I say, bring on the new! I'm standing up! So my new project is not to blog daily. Or to blog with any predictable degree of regularity. And really I'd rather not call it a project at all. Rather, it is to carve time for me. To devote time to the things that feed me outside of work and daily "stuff." This means writing. And photography. And reading. And music. Oh, I can feel the joy bubbling up as I type! And with any success, I'll be writing a little more than once every year and a half. (No guarantees. I know my track record.)

Edit

I've got to improve on updating...

Tuesday, Feb 3:
Tuesday I learned what people mean when they say something tastes 'gamey.' I tasted venison for the first time, thanks to the Badrys' fridge. Yum. (ish.)

Wednesday, Feb 4:
Wednesday the Stick Horses had their weekly practice at my house. It's the benefit of living with someone in the troupe- I get to see a free show in my own house! So I tried to follow a game they played. It was called Wizards, Goblins, and Dragons. Or something like that. And all I can say is that they stood in a circle and stared at each other for a while. Then everyone struck a pose or did a little dance at the same time. Then they all celebrated to varying degrees, although it was unclear from my perspective what poses or dances or outcomes were cause for celebration. They repeated this several times. It looked like a strange full-body version of Rock Paper Scissors, but I can't be sure. All I know for sure is that Lacey did the best Goblin dance.

Thursday, Feb 5:
I re-learned today's lesson. I remembered the value of taking an evening to slow down. I generally keep my days full. It's not necessarily that I want to be busy all the time, but I don't say no very often, because I am blessed to have fabulous friends who are always thinking of interesting things to do. And most days, I'm enjoying my busy life. But sometimes I have to remind myself to step back and be by myself. I am a true introvert. As much as I enjoy the people in my life, it is not energizing to me to spend time with people. I get energy by taking time to myself. I need that time to recharge. I need that time to watch horrible primetime dramas without ridicule (tonight it was night one of the Grey's/Private Practice crossover EVENT). Basically, I just need 'me' time.
*As a sidenote, is it just me, or does anyone else think it's ridiculous when a TV show is referred to as an Event?

Friday, Feb 5:
I thought I learned that Yaks' milk is pink. My sister told me this. I'm always skeptical of the things that I 'learn' from teenagers, so I asked where she heard it and she said she read it in a Science magazine she had to read for school. Then I googled it and I found some places that said it is pink and others that said it is not pink. So who knows? I guess the real lesson is that the color of Yaks' milk is disputed. First one to get a Yak and solve the mystery is the winner.

Saturday, Feb 6:
I learned that Paris Hilton has a whole line of hair extensions. You can purchase these at your local Sally Beauty Supply store. I'm speechless, as you are, I'm sure.

Sunday, Feb 7:
One of my oldest and dearest friends is named Aba. She is incredibly driven, intelligent, and talented. She is currently in LA working as an actress. I learned on Sunday that she is starting up a production company! It's called The Ohemaa Project. The project is based on her faith and her vision to use entertainment as a means of empowerment. You can read up on her company here. I am so excited for you, Aba!

Monday, Feb 8:
Another priceless lesson in dating from The Bachelor:

If your mother is freaky, it's best not to introduce her to the guy you're hoping to win as a "potential future husband." She might make him hula-hoop. Or bury an animal she killed with her car. Or talk about reincarnation.
And none of these things adds points to your game.

January is over and my blog is overdue.

It's been one long week, my friends. But I did keep track of what I learned. So here goes:

Monday, Jan 26:
My friend Sheonaid taught me what a yurt is. It's like a hut/tent that is semi-permanent. When I looked it up, I found out they were originally used by nomads in Central Asia. But we also have them here in Colorado in the mountains, if you ever want to use one for camping.
Tuesday, Jan 27:
My sister is doing a report on Ella Fitzgerald, and she taught me some of what she has learned. Ella Fitzgerald had a troubled childhood and an amazingly successful career. But the thing that stuck out most that I didn't know before was that she had both of her legs amputated due to complications with diabetes. I might be a little out of the loop not knowing that, but I'll admit my ignorance anyway.
Wednesday, Jan 28:
Wednesday was a re-learn day. Most of my friends know I'm not a big fan of the being in the gym. I like to exercise outside in the sun and wind and nature. But in Colorado, there are times of the year that it's the gym or nothing. So I was at the gym on my lunch hour, which is unfortunately a pretty busy time for my YMCA branch. And I re-learned another reason why I hate that place.
IT STINKS. Yes, running makes me feel healthy, but exposure to the smell of sweaty people in close proximity is a definite temptation to join the ranks of the sedentary. At least the odor suppresses my appetite, so even if I have to cut my workout short in order to breathe, I can make up for it by skipping my dinner.
I can't wait for spring.
Thursday, Jan 29:
My friend Laura is one of my favorites. She lives in NYC and I am staying with her when I go out there at the end of February. We were talking about all the things to do in New York, and I learned one thing I am unapologetically excited about (in all my nerdiness): The Tenement Museum. I love history. I love learning about the day-to-day in different periods of history. I love seeing old furniture, clothing, houses, and buildings. I love learning about the way things were. So the Tenement Museum is a must-see for me. They conduct tours of an old tenement building. It was built in 1863 and housed thousands of New York immigrant families until it was vacated and boarded up in 1935. It was untouched until 1988 when the Tenement Museum discovered it and restored it to its former glory. I'm probably more excited to see that than I am about seeing Times Square.
Friday, Jan 30:
I learned a few small lessons from a night with friends:
1. The proper pronunciation of the word Curaçao is "cure-a-so," like this.
2. Some people aren't cut out for card tricks.
3. It is possible to spend time with Jared Harp without witnessing a Chris Brown dance routine.
4. Best in Show is still hilarious.
Saturday, Jan 31:
I learned the joy of answered prayers. I had a date with my sister. If you are not a girl with a sister, I'm sorry you'll never know the pleasure of a sisterly bond, but it is a beautiful thing. There are ten years between me and my sister, so when she was little, our relationship was atypical. I was more of a babysitter/third authority figure. But now, she's a teenager. She's heading into high school, and over the past few years, I've been praying about how to navigate the transition between authority-type and sister/friend. It's not been that easy, but it has been worth it. Friday was a really sweet time. We had dinner and a movie and talked about boys and school and real life. I realize I might be biased, but I'm pretty sure I have the best sister ever.
Sunday, Feb 1:
I learned that some things are still embarrassing, no matter how old you are. On Sunday we had fantastic weather, so I went for a run outside. At least, I made it through most of my run. But on the last block back to the house, I definitely took a nice, classic, completely ungraceful face plant. I am blaming it on the downtown sidewalk that is cracked and broken. But I had just run on such a sidewalk for 20 minutes, so there might be more to it. Like me not picking up my feet. Or the gods being against me.
Anyway, I definitely scraped a nice piece of skin off my knee. And I definitely looked around immediately afterward (you always do the look-around when you're embarrassed). The only thing that saved me was the complete state of desolation that befalls most of America from 4pm-9pm on Superbowl Sunday. So there was basically nobody around to see it. Although I'm sure some CC student was looking out the window of their apartment and had a good laugh. All I know is, it still hurts, and I still feel like a kid. Your pity is welcomed.
Monday, Feb 2:
I learned that my friend Allison is now LEED-accredited! Allison is an architect and she has been studying like crazy for the test she took today. The LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) accreditation demonstrates a knowledge of green building: environmentally friendly design and construction with an emphasis on sustainability. Last week, Angela, another good friend of mine, also became LEED accredited. Congrats Al and Angela! I'm proud to know you both. I'll take you out for a celebratory drink at the next possible time. Ange- that means we should wind up in the same state again sometime. ;)

Something New

Hello friends,
In my last post I referenced a new blog project I had in the works. Now that 2009 has officially begun, I'm unveiling it! I've been inspired by my friend Allison and numerous others who have undertaken efforts to see the world differently throughout a new year. Allison did a picture-a-day project in 2008. She wanted to practice seeing beauty everyday, and she captured it through her love of photography. I also followed a blog two girls did together in 2008. They both took pictures weekly that had some sort of word in it and every week they posted their pictures side by side. It was interesting to see what they came up with, because they did not talk to each other about their photographs before posting.
I loved the creativity of these ideas, so I decided to take on something similar with my blog for 2009. This year I want to be more intent on having a learner's heart. I'm already somewhat of a nerd; that's no secret. So this project is going to capitalize on that. I'm merging three things I love: learning, writing, and photography. I'm basing this project on the idea that we learn something new every day. As it turns out, a blog like this is not an original idea. I've found others doing the same thing. I guess Ecclesiastes is right- there is nothing new under the sun. But I digress. Here are the details (such as they are at this point):

-I will learn something new every day in 2009 and write about it here.
-I have no requirements concerning how academic or trivial my new knowledge should be. I can learn from books, friends, mistakes, or any other source.
-I will attempt to update the blog daily, but I know myself well enough to know it may be difficult to do so. Therefore, I'm committing to updating at LEAST weekly with what I have learned each day.
-I will try to take a pictures somehow relating to what I have learned. This may prove to be a challenge, depending on the nature of what I have learned. The goal is to have a picture for every new thing I learn, but there may be times this is not possible. This part of my blog will be a bit of a work in progress as I discover how best to combine the two.

And those are the rules. Pretty simple. I think I'm really going to enjoy this project, and I hope anyone reading it will enjoy it, too.

So, you're probably wondering what I learned today, right?
Nothing earth-shattering, but it is useful.

I learned a new way to prepare chicken. I learned this from Elisa, my roommate. She uses olive oil and seasons the meat with sage, rosemary, and thyme. Seriously (I'm not sure why she doesn't put parsley on it). Then she bakes it in the oven. It comes out very tender and it's a nice flavor. The chicken works well with rice, on salads, with pasta, or however you want. And Elisa uses spices from Vitamin Cottage, so they come in little bags. I don't know why, but there's something I love about that.


So there you have it. I'm 1 for 1. I'd love your feedback if you have it. But more than that, I hope you have a 2009 full of learning, too.

It's Coming...

...2009. Unbelievable.

I've never been really into the whole New Year's Resolution thing. It always feels a little like a trend to me, and I wonder how effective resolutions can be if they are motivated simply by the change to a new calendar date. That said, I may be turning a corner with resolutions. I have been challenged to think of a 'To-Do' list for 2009. Some items on the list may be considered resolutions. Others are simply tasks or goals I want to check off my list before 12/31/2009.

I'd like to have a list of 10 items, but I don't have 10 yet. So, here are the 5 things I have on my list so far:

1. Run 10k.
The goal is not necessarily to run a 10k RACE, but simply to be able to run that distance. I like running for the solitude it provides, and for taking in the beauty of nature (I like running outside best), and for the satisfaction of being more fit. I don't find the idea of running alongside hundreds of other people to be a very solitary or peaceful thing, and certainly all those people would obstruct my view of nature.
Also, this goal happens to be a personal goal as well as a part of a deal I have made with a friend: if I run 10k he will read a favorite book of mine. Hopefully I can blog more on that deal later, after I check this one of my list!

2. Complete my new blog project
I'll blog more on this in a few days, but I have come up with a fun project for the coming year, inspired partly by my friend Allison and partly by my own inner nerd. I'm excited and I hope that I can keep up with it.

3. Ditch the Auto
No, not my car. I'm talking about the Auto setting on my new DSLR camera. I bought it about a month ago and so far have not had time to learn to play with it. I have used it a lot but I've stayed on Auto far more than I want to. I blame it on December and being too busy to take the time to play, but that will soon change...

4. Visit New York City
I've never been there and I am feeling the itch to travel somewhere new again, so this is my next destination. Plus, I'll get to see two great friends of mine while I am there!

5. Get back to my budget
If you know much about me, you know I have a thing for budgets. Well, ok, for money management, period. I'm pretty cheap, and I'm a total debt-phobe. But in the last few months I have had some large purchases I decided to make- furniture, my camera, etc. I didn't incur debt, but I just didn't save as much as I used to or as much as I wanted to. Or much at all, let's just be honest. While I am certainly not in danger financially (for which I am extremely grateful), I haven't made a budget in a few months, and I used to do it every month like clockwork. So I'm going to get back to my roots.

So, there's my 5 so far. I'll add more if I can think of some, but it's a good start for me so far.

What's on your 2009 To-Do list?

Rethinking Baggage

I was talking with some friends the other night, and one of them said, “Everyone’s got baggage.” The comment made me step back and think. Generally, when we say someone has baggage, it is a negative thing. It speaks of problems or emotional issues that have marred in some way the ‘wholeness’ of a person. At the very least, it implies some additional, weighty issues that come along with a person wherever he or she goes. But if we all have baggage, why is the term always negative? Can a person have positive baggage? And what does our baggage truly say about us?

Webster defines baggage as:
1: suitcases, trunks, and personal belongings of travelers: luggage

While I know that some people are chronic over-packers, I think there is a global understanding that baggage is meant for the things we need on a trip. Those needs may change depending on our destination, but we pack our bags based on what we know of ourselves, what we have planned to do while away, and what we can reasonably expect might occur. We bring with us items that we already own- things we have used in our lives at home, but which will continue to be useful even in a new environment. If we all have baggage in our lives, doesn’t it just mean that we all bring along with us the things we think we need for wherever we are going? I think we carry in our emotional duffel bag the history of the hurts and joys we've experienced and the lessons we've taken from them.

Baggage can be positive or negative. We can choose to pack light, with only the necessary items, or we can be over-packers. If we have been in a blizzard without a jacket, we may be tempted to bring a down jacket to Florida in July, but it won’t be useful and it will take up valuable space for the things we really do need. In the same way, I am convinced that the emotional baggage we have can be functional or detrimental, but we can choose which. While I don’t think it’s possible to ever truly forget the painful things we’ve experienced, I think one of the greatest things about living life is the opportunity to see mistakes become lessons and pain become strength. Ours is a God who gives us beauty for ashes and joy for mourning, and we have the privilege to make use of His heart for renewal and repair.

I am usually a light packer, but it is an acquired skill. I start by throwing everything I think I might possibly want toward the general direction of my suitcase. Then I sort through the mountain of stuff and ask myself if I really NEED a second pair of high heels for a 5-day trip to the beach (I might). After a few rounds of arguing with myself, I whittle my things down to fit in one smallish suitcase. At the end of it all, I arrive at my destination well prepared for a pleasant trip, but it always takes time and effort on my part to get there. I think the same can be said of emotional baggage. I think we have to put conscious thought into what pieces of our past we keep with us. We have to give our hurts over to the One who can make them useful. We have to allow previous pain to age and become wisdom before we pack up and head for a new destination.
Otherwise, we might arrive with a too many suitcases and no toothbrush.

Clothing of mountains, and other thoughts.

It's here. (begin mental recitation of "Jaws" theme)

Ok, I will admit, I don't actually know when the first day of winter is, but I have decided to say it is here. As a native Coloradan, I think I have the freedom to choose confidently how to term the time of year, because I know that my departure from fact is not due to misinformation. I am merely acting out of the freedom we Coloradans have to experience multiple seasons in and out of season! (still with me?)
And even if you want to argue the fact and maintain the integrity of fall's calendar presence, I'm okay with that, as long as you can grant me the one thrill of my winter experience:

The annual clothing of Pike's Peak!

I realize I'm a bit late on this observation, because the true day of draping was actually two Sundays ago, but it was weak. It was the natural equivalent of putting on a thin shawl. Make no mistake, I was thrilled to see it, but the real joy came yesterday, when the Peak finally got to wear a coat. I don't know why this change is so noteworthy to me, I guess it's just my personal measure of the change in season.
I feel it similarly in the summer. The day the peak disrobes always brings a smile to my face (and a little blush on the mountain's behalf, because it really is a little naked and vulnerable looking- ESPECIALLY above timberline, if ya know what I mean).
But no matter your views on indecent exposure in the high country, you have to admit that the sight this morning of snow blowing off the top of the Peak was beautiful, if you got the chance to see it. If not, keep your eyes up, it will happen quite a few times over the coming months, and the last thing a Coloradan should do (native or transplant) is become oblivious to the natural beauty of God's creation. We're blessed every day to see even the tiniest glimpse of the majesty of a Creator who could think to create something so phenomenal to my mind. It calls to mind a line from a song by Shawn McDonald:
"The same hands that created all of this/they created you and I/What a Beautiful God"
Imagine-
The privilege of being created, known, sought after, and loved by One so artistic, wild, powerful, and detailed - it's beyond logic, and it's definitely beyond words I can provide.

What's your favorite part of the season change? We asked this in a meeting the other day, and I loved to hear the answers.

Word.

I ran across a great quote today.

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
-Mark Twain

I wholeheartedly agree. I think there are far too many words we use too often and too lightly. There are also many words that are completely misused altogether. It can really get to me.

Yep, I'm that girl.
It's where my analytical bent meets my inner bookworm.

Here are some of the words I think top the list:

Love (don't even get me started on this one)
Hope
Faith (as in "have faith")
Awesome (Does everything referred to as 'awesome' actually inspire awe?)
Like (self-explanatory)
Joy

I could probably come up with a lot more, but it's the end of the day and I am tired. But just as a note: it's no coincidence that most of those words can be found in the Bible. One of the biggest reasons such misuse bothers me is because of the weight such words should carry for us. They pertain to lofty and beautiful things. Why aren't we more careful with them?

Thoughts?

prodigal blogger

So...I've had this blog for almost 2 years now, and I have had nothing to show for it. I never deleted it and then, over time, I forgot about it, and it wallowed in a pool of loneliness. But recently, I have been inspired to try to take up blogging again, and I remembered this poor lonely space on the web. It held no grudge against me and it cried no bitter tears, it simply welcomed me back with a sparkling blank page and open arms.
A very lovely reaction, I thought. Which made me want to use this blog all the more.

So, for the inaugural post, I am going to introduce you to me in a nutshell. I am quiet, analytical, and a bit of a daydreamer. I am going to like the blog thing if I can keep up with it because I love to write. I live in Colorado, and I am hoping to find time to explore more of the beauty around this state after taking it for granted for quite a while. I am working on some personal goals- becoming a runner, and working my way up to hiking a fourteener. I have a LONG way to go, but you have to start somewhere, right? Other things you will find true of me if I can transfer myself to this page:
I love my family.
I am a total nerd: a grammar policewoman, an office-supply-store fanatic, and a compulsive reader.
I love my job.
I love to think deeply about theology, ethics, psychology, and anything involving logic.
I love to play outside.

It is my dream to own a horse one day.

For now, I think that's enough.
It's way past my bedtime.