It has come to my attention that, given the right job, I am a workaholic. I have noticed this in a very short time, considering I have worked in this new position for a total of two months now. I have thought of battling this disease with a 12-step program, but I don't think it's that serious. I can stop anytime I want. Just one more file review, and that's it, I swear. Ok, maybe two, but after that, I will seriously quit. (for tonight.)
But really, for now, I am ok with this reality in my life. I don't have a family of my own or a marriage. I have the freedom and desire to devote more of myself to my job than is required, and I would prefer that than to struggle with apathy or distaste for my job. I know that if I didn't enjoy my job as much as I do, I would have an easier time leaving things at the office, but as it stands, I consider it grace that God has led me to a position that I find both challenging and enjoyable. It's a great fit for my personality and a great balance of the things I value about my field and the preferences I have in work style. It's not always sunshine and roses. There are many situations that are difficult and disheartening. But for each of those, there is another encouragement to be found. And every situation is an opportunity to serve and build a positive relationship with the family I am working for. Even in the most frustrating of cases, I am reminded that when it seems I can do nothing to help a family, I can pray. Which is more effective and powerful than I understand. I am learning to believe it by my actions, because I think belief is more than agreement with an idea or theory. It is an action and a choice. Belief is a repetitive, conscious effort to live in line with an idea. It is not a solitary, passive declaration of thought.
And on that note, I am retiring. it's already too late for deep thought, but I've done my best.
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